Empty Spaces
by Physhy
Summary: This story picks up where the season finale fades to orange. Probably gonna be a little dark cuz that's just where they left us . Piper/Alex
1. Chapter 1

Empty Spaces by Physhy

Orange Is the New Black Chapman/Vause

Picks up at the end of the season one finale.

Chapter One

Somewhere distantly in the background the sounds of the holiday celebration echoed faintly as the pageant wound down to a close. The winter air was bitter cold and the breeze that carried it cut like a knife. There was a crispness to the air that suggested a fresh snow would soon be falling. None of these things existed to Piper Chapman, the only thing that existed in her tiny little universe was the fiercely raging fear and panic that had kept her swinging long after the strength in her tiny waspy frame had run out. Nothing but the sludgey thump that accompanied the conact her broken and bloody fists made with each weakening lurch of her body. The red that stained everything including her own shriveling soul. Her energy spent she slowly collapsed in a motionless heap beside the lifeless body of Doggett.

The rest of the inmates were shuffling slowly back to their cubes trying to savor the festive atmosphere as long as they possibly could. There were lots of friendly bits of chatter and the occasional verse of some carol or other being bounced around the crowd. Days like this inside were few and far between and no one was looking forward to the crash of reality that morning would bring. Not Nicky who was still buzzing on the afterglow from her Christmas present and choosing not to think about the fact that come morning she and Alex were still gonna be hung on their respective exes. Not Alex who was still kinda proud of standing her ground when Piper had come running like she'd known she would. She knew that she'd forgive the blonde eventually, regardless of what she'd said about picking Larry. Alex knew Piper better than anyone ever had, knew that she was her other half. Larry was the man she had been raised to marry, but Alex was the one that made her feel alive. That didn't mean she was gonna roll over and forgive her the second she'd came to her senses, no it would be way more fun to make her work for it. After all she'd always been a fan of the ways the blonde had sought her forgiveness in the past. This thought led the raven haired beauty to happy little memory that floated her all the way back to her cube on a cloud.

Everyone in the suburbs went about their business getting ready for bed taking care of their nightly rituals until the light came on for final count. The lightly jovial attitude continued as the guards went from room to room with their annoying little clickers, counting them off as they went. Three recounts later the holiday cheer was ebbing and nervous little whispers were starting to replace the happy chatter from moments before. There were the usual jests about someone sneaking off for an extra special christmas present but a feeling of tension settled over the women just the same. Three recounts later and the tension in the room was getting thick. Someone was missing, recounts were pretty standard but three was a bit much even for this bunch. Everyone was craning around and taking stock, trying to figure out whose spot was empty.

No one was surprised when the alarm went off forcing the inmates to the ground while the guards went about their search. They were running around wildly checking every bathroom and utility closet. There would be more heading outside to check the yard for any stragglers. After all it wouldn't have been all that hard for a couple of girls to have snuck off for a little alone time. If they hadn't walked back from the pageant together Alex probably would have assumed it was Nichols and Morello making up. When the wave of whispers finally reaches Alex the light hearted thought dies cold as she whips her head around to her bunkmate Leanne and she isn't surprised at the gasp she lets out when the news arrives that Pennsatucky is missing. The scathing look the meth head throws her way, and the twisted little grin that follows make her blood run cold as an icy knot forms in the pit of her stomach.

A terrible feeling settled over Alex as she forced herself to focus hard._How long has it been since I've seen Piper, she had to be at the pageant everyone was there. Even Pennsatucky, she'd been the angel for crying out loud._ She chased the thoughts round and round inside her head while the first real sounds of commotion started to echo up to them from outside. As hard as she tried the last she could remember seeing the blonde was when she'd come running to her earlier...and she'd chased her away. She focused hard on the memory, she'd been so dismissive she couldn't remember the look on Piper's face. Had the blonde been angry like she'd assumed or was it something else, had it been fear etched across her face. Heads raised across the prison as the alarm was cancelled and everyone was summarily ordered to bed. Alex was up in a flash pinning her "bunky" hard to the floor out of sight of the COs using body weight and leverage to make sure the crazy bitch couldn't try something.

"What the fuck do you know?" Her words were fierce but controlled as she applied just enough force to make sure the meth head understood that she was deathly serious about wanting some answers. That look had left no doubt that she knew something about what was going on out there, and Alex was not above hurting this bitch to get to the truth. The blonde beneath her tried to look smug but she really didn't have much time here. The brunette shifted her position applying more weight until the junkie started to cry out, wracked with pain her breaths getting shorter.

"Same thing everybody else knows. Tucky's been doggin' Chapman all week. Bitch disrespected her so she decided to finish things. "

It took every bit of strength the brunette had not to wrap her long fingers around the skinny little junkies throat and squeeze until her eyes bugged out but that would leave marks and her hands were distinctively large. Instead she pushed the girl harder into the cement floor beneath her, satisfied as a pained whimper escaped her ruined mouth.

" If any of you stupid hillbilly assholes so much as look in her direction again I will personally end you. Do you understand me?" A frantic nod was the girls only response as Alex suddenly realized she was essentially cutting off the girls air supply, still she held her down a moment longer just to make sure her point had been made perfectly clear. She released Leanne but couldn't resist a kick to the girls midsection as she tried to get up.

Alex was furious. She was furious with all those religious nut jobs who'd apparently been harassing her girl again. She was furious with Piper for picking Larry and causing their latest fight, but mostly she was furious with herself. She should have known something was wrong when Piper came to her so soon after being told to stay away. It's not like she had been unclear, sure she had known the blonde would come sniffing around for forgiveness eventually but that had been just too damn soon. She'd been so pissed that she assumed she would cave so soon aftr their fight she hadn't even tried to read the girl's expressions. She tried to convince herself that everything was going to be okay, that Piper was safely tucked away in her own cube somewhere. Tried to convince herself that she'd see her girl in the morning, but the rising cries of sirens in the night just wouldn't let her believe it.

...


	2. Chapter 2

Paste your document h

Empty Spaces

Post Season 1

This one's for izzielg,and Wardicus. Thanks for feeding the beast, reviews fuel it's furry belly.

Outside the guards had found a scene almost beyond belief. CO Fischer was first to find the two women lying in a pool of red, the hot blood actually melting the snow underneath them. The corrections officer immediately pulled out her walkie reporting her location and situation, trying to keep her voice even and clear despite the tremor threatening to break through and betray the very real fear spinning around inside her. She leaned down over the limp figure of Chapman feeling for a pulse and was relieved to find one, but was unhappy with the weak rhythm just the same. She glanced over to the other figure on the ground as two more COs came running up in the dark. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. She couldn't make out the identity of the other figure on the ground. It wasn't just that the poor girls face was beaten or battered, it was simply gone. An hour ago she had been on stage, as close to a beautiful angel as she was ever going to be, and now she was completely unrecognizable. She couldn't stop her body's visceral reaction to the sight before her, though she did at least manage to turn away from the body before her so that her stomach contents didn't contaminate the scene. Mendez bitched briefly about his shoes before getting a good look at the sight before him and following suite. Bennet managed to keep himself under control but just barely he'd seen some things overseas, but damn.

Fischer did her best to pull herself together and feel for a second pulse on the other girls wrist, but wasn't surprised to find only the quickly cooling skin beneath her finger tips. Doggett was dead and Piper was in bad shape and she found herself fight off an overwhelming sense of panic as she tried to remember what she was supposed to do in a situation like this. This was definitely not what she signed up for sure great pay, good benefits and gory murder scenes that will haunt you for the rest of your life. She was relieved to hear the sound of sirens approaching in the distance and tried to snap herself out of it. Piper, she had to help Piper. She was still alive and the CO had always had a bit of a soft spot for the blonde. She'd known her a little before and was able to understand that she was essentially a good person who had simply made a stupid mistake. She leaned over the inmate and tried to at least asess her status, there were going to be a lot of questions later. Bennet ran off a little ways to flag down the incoming first responders to their exact location once they'd cleared the main gate.

Two ambulances pulled to an abrupt halt in front of their location and they jumped out on the move quickly pulling out their gurneys and bags of gear. One of them called out for a report as they approached the prone figures laying on the ground. She adressed the team attending to Chapman first informing them of her shallow breathing and weak pulse, following with Pensatucky's unfortunate status. The teams worked quickly and effortlessly loading the women onto maching gurneys. The two women were loaded into the backs of the ambulances so quickly it seamed as though it all happened in the blink of an eye. The three corrections officers stood there almost in a state of shock trying to process everything that happened in the space of just a few short minutes. The ground at their feet was still a grizzly horror show even without the presence of the two battered women. Fischer was already feeling mental exhaustion start to filter in and she knew it was only the beginning of what was going to be a very long night. They needed to process the scene and see what they could piece together from the evidence. There were going to be hours worth of questions and mountains of paperwork. The worst she already knew would be facing the girls, they were going to want answers and she already didn't like the ones she had. As she looked down to the ground her eyes settled on something that looked like a sharpened cross poking out of the snow, and she couldn't help the tears that spilled down her face.

ere...


	3. Chapter 3

Empty Spaces Chapter 3

Doggett is dead, and Piper's condition remains uncertain.

Told from Alex's POV

pgsca here you go

Alex had been lying painfully still since lights out, taking slow measured even breaths trying to be as silent as she possibly could be. Desperately keeping her ears tuned for any possible CO gossip from the far side of the room. Things had been far from quietin the prison tonight, there had been people rushing about for hours after the alarm ended they just hadn't been anywhere near close enough for the brunette to glean anything useful. Occasionaly she glaced over at her sleeping bunky to make sure she was still sleeping, whatever may have happened out there tonight she knew she couldn't afford to turn her back on one of Pennsatucky's bible thumpers again. Mostly she chased angry thoughts around in her mind, blaming herself for whatever trouble her blonde lover had managed to get herself into in the day they were apart. Making promises to any variety of dieties she could think of to bring Piper back to her safely. She could feel the tears creeping up around the corners of her eyes again, and she did her best to keep them locked tight inside as she heard the distant echo of footfalls heading in her direction. It was probably just another bed check but she couldn't help getting her hopes up at even the remote possibility that someone who knew something was nearby.

The footfalls got slightly louder as their owner drew nearer, though it was clear whoever they belonged to was trying to walk softly. Most of the male guards seamed to clomp around as loudly as they could, especially at night when the girls were trying to sleep. She held her breath as the figure slowed to a stop in front of her cube and turned to look in her direction. The figure looked around quickly ducking into the cube and coming to crouch at the foot of her bunk. Alex couldn't felt small wave of fear that passed through as she wondered if this slight form might belong to one of Tiffany's girls. Couldn't help the flich that accompanied the sudden intrusion, but tried to relax when the figure raised both hands palms out in a sign of peace. The shadowy figure came closer and she sighed in relief when she was able to make out the features of CO Fischer. The momentary relief was quickly overwhelmed by the sense of dread that was rising inside her, if she was here there really was news about Piper and there was no way it was gonna be good. She couldn't hold back the tears anymore as she reached out for Fischer grabbing her wrist deperately.

"Please tell me she's alive, please..." she couldn't go on the fear was tearing her up inside, Piper had hurt her so many times, but she never imagined the girl could make her feel anything like this. The corrections officer felt her heart break at the woman she saw unfurling in front of her. She put her free hand over the top of the inmate clutching onto her and forcibly made eye contact with the girl so she was sure it would get through.

"She's alive. Do you hear me she is still alive. I'm not gonna lie and tell you everything is okay because it's not. The things that happened tonight are bad and I can't tell you much more than that because you're an inmate, I'm an officer and we're not having this conversation in the first place understand?" A slow nod from Alex whose tears have slowed but are still flowing is enough for her to continue. "News will start filtering in through the usual channels soon enough anyway, but I knew that she would want you to know that she's still alive and she's fighting. I still don't know how bad her condition is, last update had her still in surgery. I'll let you know what I can about her condition. Now since I came over here to talk to you I'm gonna ask a favor of you." Another small nod from the brunette who had released her arm and was clutching the prison issue sheet like a small child's security blanket was again enough to allow her to conitnue. "Whatever news or rumors you may hear in the coming days, don't go out and do something stupid. When" and she made sure to say this word with great emphasis "Piper gets back from the hospital, she's gonna need you. Are we understood inmate?" She made sure to use her guard voice hoping the edge of authority would make it clear that she was in no way kidding. Another nod from the pale girl before her was enough and without another word she stood and left as quietly as she came.

Still so unsure of Piper's condition she felt grateful to the kind woman for taking the time to come to her and assuage the worst of her fears. She knew the guard had taken a big risk in doing so, and made a promise to herself to keep her word. No matter what anyone said she wasn't going to let her temper get the better of her. She wouldn't be any use to her love locked away in SHU and Piper was going to need her.


	4. Chapter 4

Empty Spaces Chapter 4

Set from Piper's POV

Thanks for all of the reviews it's been years since I've written for the fun of it and I feel a binge coming on.

For a very long time there was only the darkness, almost like being trapped in a windowless room. Slowly other things started to filter into her conciousness, the distant echoes of faint sounds like the whisper of a breeze through leaves. Quick flashes of images that looked like memories but felt like a dream. The thing that helped ground her the most though was the distinctive scent of disinfectant, it was both strong and familiar and she felt it pulling her back. Back to the slow steady beep and muttered conversations, back to the light and sensation. She could hear the beeping pick up its pace as she started to feel the awakening of her body and the gathering storm of pain that was quickly coming with it. Her body ached from head to toe, her hands were absolute agony. She didn't even have to try and move them to know it wasn't an option, and there was a heavy weight settled over her chest that just wouldn't let her breathe. She was startled by the pained whimper that escaped her lips and the accompanying movement caused a wave of pain to rise up only crash down upon her.

She couldn't even register the sudden presence of the doctors and nurse who had steadily working around her as she came to. They'd been working on her steadily since loading her into the back of the big red rig, but it was still unsure. The doctors and nurses had been suprised not to find more grievous wounds under the woman's thoroughly blood soaked uniform, but that didn't mean she was out of the woods just yet. While her breathing had improved her heart rate was still a concern and the furrowed brow of the doctor reading the ECG printout was not reassuring. She couldn't see the dark haired man in the green scrubs or hear the string of orders he called to the others who were still busy cleaning her up, attaching even more wires, putting in more tubes. All she could feel was the pain as the wave crashed down again sinking her back into the darkness.

Still the commotion around her continued around her in a twisted little ballet bent on keeping her alive. They'd done what they could for the other inmate, but it had always been to late for that one. They'd called the time of death shortly after their arrival. It had been sad in a way he knew he wouldn't be able to tell his wife about later when she asked him about his day, the broken little girl in the pretty christmas costume. He shook his head to refocus on the task in front of him, this one was ready to head up to surgery but there were others already waiting on his help. He signed off on the chart in his hand before sending up a silent christmas prayer for both of the women he had cared for that night.


	5. Chapter 5

Empty Spaces Chapter 5

Mostly Alex's POV- Cuz the waiting is the hardest part.

When 5 am came around Alex was still wide awake, she'd managed to get the tears under control before the other women around her started to rise. She usually popped right up and out of bed this time of morning so she could get up and in the showers before it got too crowded, but this morning she just couldn't gather the strength. She'd always liked starting her mornings off that way feeling fresh and clean ready to take on the world, truth be told she did kind of want the shower. Wanted the almost hot water to wash away the fears that had plagued her all night, the tears that had left her eyes all puffy and red. She just wasn't ready for everything else that lay waiting outside the walls to her cube. She'd never be able to hide her pain from the family she'd been adopted into, it was written all across her face. She didn't move from her place on the bunk when Leanne quietly rose and slipped away quietly.

She was still laying there staring at the ceiling a few minutes later when Nikki came in and sat down on the edge of her bunk, gently laying a comforting hand on the brunettes thigh. She didn't say a word just sat there waiting silently as Alex's body started to ripple and shake as the tears overcame her again. Nichols pulled her in close and held her as the poor woman came apart in her arms. She discreetly tried to wave away the concerned friends and family who were already starting to gather at the entrance to her cube. They drifted off to talk amongst themselves and leave the two girls alone. They'd realized pretty early on last night that Pennsatucky had been missing from their dorm but they hadn't gotten confirmation about Piper till a few minutes before when Taystee and Poussey had come to break the bad news. Nicky didn't have the first clue how Alex had already known, but that didn't matter now. all that did was trying to help this shattered girl before her and hoping Piper was stronger than her tiny little frame suggested.

Alex for her part was grateful for the contact that Nicky provided, she felt like she'd been drowning in this all night. Swimming in a sea of what ifs that never seamed to end. What if she had been there? What if she hadn't chased the blonde away? What if she had pushed her? Really got in her face once and for all that they were meant to be together. What if she'd quit all thise years ago like Piper had wanted? She'd been able to see it in her eyes every time they'd looked at each other. That silent plea to run away together and build a new life. A life rich in adventure, endless days and nights spent exploring the world and each other. What if she had chosen Piper over the business? What if she had made the right choice?


	6. Chapter 6

Empty Spaces Chapter 6

Still Alex and the girls

The prison had been buzzing with whispered rumors since the inmates had first started rising that morning. Big news spread fast in a place like this, and today was no exception. It had been easy enough to deduce just who was missing, and it was no secret that some sort of beef had been forming beween the two in the past few weeks. Tastyee, Big Cindy and Poussay had been able to fill in some of the blanks as to why Piper had come running to her so soon after telling her to stay away. The note that had come complete with a dead rat paper weight, and the altercation in the shower from the day before. Even the advice they had given her to handle it herself. They were trying to keep sure faces, talking her up like some kind of badass that Alex knew she wasn't.

Each word twisted the knot in her stomach tighter and tighter. Piper had come to her yesterday desperate and terrified, and only because she had no one else to turn to. There were a lot of people here who had come to like the blonde since her arrival at Litchfield, but none who cared about her the way that Alex did. None who would throwdown with a psychotic meth head to protect her. She had come to her fearing for her life, and she hadn't let her get a word out. She could hear her own angry words being yelled over and over again inside of her skull. She couldn't believe she had been so cruel, she'd just wanted to make her sweat it out for a couple of days. Now she was off somewhere hurt and alone, possibly even thinking that Alex didn't love her anymore. It was this thought that sent her spinning on her heal attempting to seperate from the group as they'd headed down for breakfast so she could go searching the halls for CO Fischer. A soft grip on her wrist stopped her escape, Nicky stepped in closer talking softly.

"Whatever else may end up happening today, your body is going to need fuel. Come with us to breakfast, you need to eat and we all need to stick together right now. Besides if there's any new information to be had we'll find it out in there." Nicky pointed vaguely toward the cafeteria where the loud din of too many excited conversations could already be heard. The former addict waited patiently while the former dealer weighed the decision in her mind finally assenting with a nod. Fischer probably wouldn't even be in yet anyway, she had stopped by her cube very late last night, probably just before heading home. They rejoined the flow of traffic headed in for food, Alex trying to ignore the eyes she could feel following her through the crowd. Everyone knew that she and Piper had something going on between them, their attempts to keep things disreet had been half hearted at best. She supposed that made her some sort of gossip fodder given the current situation, but that didn't mean she was gonna put on some kind of show for them. She'd had her meltdown as privately as she could this morning in Nicky's arms and simply didn't think she had the tears left for another.

She waited her turn in line with everybody else trying desperately to avoid the sympathetic gazes of the women in hair nets filling her tray, or the fact that it was a little fuller than usual when they handed it to her. She ate quietly everyone trying to ignore the awkward silence that had settled over their little piece of the cafeteria. It didn't seem as though there was any actual news floating around anyway, just a lot of speculation over how the fight had come out. It occured to her suddenly that she probably knew more than any of the other inmates present. She looked around the table at the faces of her worried friends and knew it was wrong to shut them out just because she was in painting, they were hurting too. She quietly cleared her throat, trying to get their attention without bringing down the focus of everyone else around them. They turned to her with sad eyes and she knew she was right.

"I don't know much, but I know she's alive. She was in surgery, but she's fighting." She drifted off wishing there was more she could offer them. A couple of the girls wandered off to spread the small bit of news they did have, after all Piper had friends in here now. Alex stayed put though, trusting that any other news floating around would make its way to her eventually. No she stayed with her family wishing she could tell them that the blonde would be okay, that she would be back soon. Wanted to believe it more than anything but just couldn't shake the fear that had settled deep in her gut. Telling the others helped a little bit though, she could see a small amount of relief shining in their eyes and felt it reflected back in her own.

-Taking a little break to go make myself some yummy gluten free cupcakes but I'll try to get a couple more chapters up later before I call it a night-


	7. Chapter 7

Empty Spaces Chapter 7

Piper's POV in the hospital

Thanks for all the reviews and the cupcakes are vanilla with strawberry frosting.

The darkness surrounding Piper Chapman was ebbing away slowly as her groggy mind struggled to break through to the surface. There was pain again she wasn't surprised about that, but it was muffled this time around. The edge dulled by the strong narcotics still coursing through her veins. Her senses were coming alive again the sounds and smells that she knew belonged to the hospital room around her starting to become clearer through the haze that was slowly lifting. She felt a rather distinct tightness and discomfort in her throat and chest that she couldn't help fighting against. A tall brunette woman was there in a flash trying to calm her. For just the flicker of a moment she thought it might be her Alex come to save her again from one of the disasterous messes she always seamed to created for herself, but knew just as quickly that it simply couldn't be true. This woman was wearing a set of blue scrubs and not the khaki uniform she had come to enjoy peeling off of her lovers body, and despite her height she was a bit thinner than Alex a bit too gaunt without those curves she loved so much. Not nearly as strong as the woman she used to like to think of as her own personal super hero, the one who had swooped in to save her from her dreary little future as some sucessful business man's wife. The doctor fought for eye contanct, trying to get through to the woman who was continuing to struggle underneath her.

"I need you to look at me, and hear what I'm saying. You are in a hospital and you've sustained some very serious injuries do to your altercation. You were having difficulty breathing on your own after you lost conciousness so we had to intubate you. You're awake now and your breathing has improved so we can remove it now, I just need you to calm down and stop fighting long enough to accomplish that, if you can't I'll have to put you under again to keep you from hurting yourself. Do you understand everything that I am saying too you?" All Piper could do was give a weak nod and try to control the panic she was feeling. "Alright," the doctor continued talking in as soothing a voice as she could as she went about disconnecting the tube." when I say now I'm going to pull out the tube and I'm gonna need a nice long exhale from you okay?" Another weak nod and a few tears were her response." Okay, now" the doctor removed the tube with a practiced fluid motion and Piper sputtered and coughed as her airway finally cleared. A nurse appeared at her side with a cup of water a moment later to sooth the ache in her throat, just as the blonde realized she couldn't actually grab it herself. Not only were both of her arms chained to the bed, both of her hands had been replaced by giant gauze boxing gloves.

"Don't worry I've got it, just take little sips at first." Piper smiled gratefully to the kind woman and did as she was told, savoring the way the cool water washed away the burn of the tubes. The doctor had continued moving around her checking the connections on the machines and tubes feeding into her from just about everywhere it seamed. When she was satisfied that everything was still connected where it ought to be and that nothing had been disturbed by the commotion of the blondes awakening she returned her attention to Piper herself and adressed her.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Wallace I am your surgeon. The cut on your wrist caught an artery so you lost quite a bit of blood which we were able replace with transfusions. In addition to that there were several broken bones in both of your hands and wrists that we had to go in surgically and set with pins. It's a bit early to tell but you may end up with some residual nerve damage in your hands as well from the shear amount of tissue damage. There are only a few stiches but your hands have been wrapped for immobility so you don't run the risk of injuring them any further, especially during these first few weeks of the healing process." Piper suddenly made eye contact with the doctor and she nearly flinched at the terror she saw there.

"I can't be like this for weeks, it's fucking prison. Red told me, the second the other inmates perceive you as weak you are. I need my hands, I can't protect myself like this."Piper couldn't stop the tears that came flooding out. She knew she'd won this round with Pennsatucky, but there would be others. Even if Dogget got sent off to max for attacking her with a weapon there would still be her bible thumpers to contend with. They'd all be after her now retaliation was how the game is played inside, and she had nobody to watch her back. It was one thing with her bunked down in the ghetto, but a reassignment to the suburbs might actually get her killed. She couldn't go running to Alex again, she had made it perfectly clear that there was no way she'd help Piper again after all that she'd put her through. She thought the most heartless thing she could ever do to someone was walking out on the love of her life when she had needed her the most. She was wrong, the worst was winning her trust back just to do it all over again.


	8. Chapter 8

Empty Spaces Chapter 8

Mostly Alex's POV

It was nearly last count before the female inmates got the first hint that they were finally gonna get the scoop on the missing prisoners. They'd been restricted from going outside and a large number of work details had been cancelled, but other than that the guards had managed to keep up a united front of silence all day. They'd been trying to weasel details out of the guards all day with no results. When CO Fischer had finally showed up for her shift Alex had zeroed in on her immediately but hadn't been able to get anywhere near the guard. It almost seamed like Caputo was keeping her busier than the others just to keep the brunette from talking to her, more likely given what she already knew was that Fischer had probably been the first to find Piper. Might have even saved her life, seeing how hushed and strained the officers had been all that day it was easy to assume that whatever had gone down last night hadn't been any kind of a minor altercation. Caputo and Figeuroa came out of his office and everyone turned to look, some of them with clear signs of anxiety written across their faces. Instead of taking off again to go deal with more details they actually stepped toward the crowd of gathered inmates to everyones relief.

It was Figeuroa who stepped forward to adress the women and it wasn't too much of a surprise at that, most of the male COs seamed to have a knack for saying the wrong thing. Whereas the beautiful woman in the designer suits could at least fake compassion when she needed to, and this was definitely gonna be one of those instances. She took a deep breath taking a moment herself before starting.

"We are very unfortunate to have had this years holiday festivities marred by the sad events that followed. We have been conducting an investigation all day into the altercation that took place last night between inmates Chapman and Doggett. Now I can't give you much in the way of answers just yet but we want to know we are sad to announce the passing of one of your fellow inmates."

Alex felt the air rushing out of her lungs and Nicky's strong arms wrapping around her waist as she felt her knees start to buckle beneath her. She managed to keep her standing but just barely.

"The chapel will be open and the chaplain will be available to any who wish to discuss their feelings over Doggett's passing." Figeuroa paused at the sudden wave of surprise that moved through the crowd of inmates. Seams that everyone had underestimated the skinny little blonde woman. Nicky and Alex had practically fallen all over each other when the relief of that one name had hit their ears." As for the condition of the other inmate, there's not much I can say but I will say that she is stable and already showing signs of improvement. Now I know that it's been a terribly trying day and everyone could use the rest, so if everyone not planning to head to the chapel for counceling could return to their respective dorms it's almost time for final count." with that she turned and was instantly talking to Caputo again about whatever details they were trying to keep from the prisoners.

Alex just sat next to Nicky in a heap on the floor, relishing in the respite from the paralasys that had begun to climb its way up the lengeth of her spine when she had thought the worst. Fischer hadn't even said anything about Doggett being hurt. There were more tears leaking down her face again and this time she didn't even try to stop their descent down the smooth skin of her face because the were happy tears this time. She'd shed so many pained tears last night it felt good to let these new tears wash the old away. Piper was alive, she was still hanging in there and Alex was gonna be damned if she was gonna let her slip away now over something silly like her pride. She didn't care about Larry, or the fight that they'd had. If it took the rest of her life she was going to show Piper Chapman that they really were meant for each other. Her strength returning she allowed Nicky to help her up onto her still shaky legs so they could begin the walk back to the suburbs with everyone else. The chatter had gotten even more out of hand now that everyone knew how the throwdown had come out. She even saw a few candy bars change hands as bets were settled. She could see Taystee and Poussey coming towards her with what looked like a decent stash of newly acquired chocolate stashed under their shirts. They each slipped her a couple of candy bars with knowing smirks plastered on their faces.

"Never doubted it for a second, blondie made a steel yo." and with that they were on their way down to the ghetto. She smiled at their retreating forms appreciatively, she was surprised that her girl had down so well away from the suburbs but was grateful for it. She made a mental note to find a way to say thank you to the girls in her dorm who had given her tips for defending herself. She had to admit that she wouldn't have guessed that Piper had it in her to fight back, Alex had called her Bambi on multiple occasions and for good reason, she'd always seen the blonde as completely sweet and innocent. It would take something pretty big to shatter an image that pure. Even when Alex had gotten her to break the law that had landed her in here she had seamed like a little girl dressed up and playing out some make believe tale. She went through the motions of final count and her nightly rituals lost inside her head. Reminiscing on memories of her time with Piper on the outside.

In the early stages before Piper had known the truth it had been like a game for her. Seducing this pretty young thing who honestly had to be the most innocent creature she had ever met was a challenge unlike any other. She took her time with this one getting to know her had only seamed to make it sweeter. Later when things changed the game changed too, unlike all the others when she finally got a taste of the blonden she knew a simple taste would never be enough. Afterwards the game evolved and the lines started to blur, how to touch that innocence. How to hold it and keep it safe without corrupting and destroying it. That was where she had failed, and lost. She'd let her dirty little world touch Piper and it had left a stain. It had been a small one, but she'd ended up here with the rest of them just the same. These were the thoughts still swirling in her head when she finally lay down on her bunk. She was so exhausted from the emotional roller coaster she been on the last two days she almost didn't notice that the other half of her cube was unoccupied. She supposed it was a smart move, they'd had tension brewing between them for a while now and after last nights incident it would only get worse. After all if my bunkys girlfriend had killed by my best friend I'd... Oh shit.


	9. Chapter 9

Empty Spaces Chapter 9

Piper's POV in the hospital

People had been coming and going from the cramped little hospital room since Piper had regained conciousness. Though the visits from the doctors were coming fewer and farther between, the steady stream of nurses hadn't abated in the slightest. It was almost disconcerting how they could all be so focused on her without engaging in the slightest. The only nurse who spoke to her at all was the mousy little one who seamed to be responsible for making sure she was fed and hydrated. Just now she had a visit with Caputo and Figeuroa, they'd been talking to her for several moments though she'd yet to acknowledge them. Their voices sounded as though they were coming from somewhere farther away than the 10 by 10 room would allow.

"We know that there was an altercation between yourself and inmate Doggett, we know it took place outside the chapel as the christmas pageant was ending. We know that you were both armed with deadly weapons, we found the sharpened cross with her prints and the screwdriver that went missing from the electrical hut with yours. We also know that you didn't use yours as Tiffany wasn't stabbed and while there was blood on the screwdriver it only belonged to you. The surgeon who operated of your hands and wrist retrieved some wood splinters that suggest she did attack you with the sharpened cross. That being said we have a good idea what happened that night, now the details you provide us with can mean the difference between serving out a few extra years at the litch or a life sentance at a maximium security facilty. We need to know that you understand that before we continue on to your statement, the more we know the better we'll be able to help. Now there has been some history between the two of you, I know about your involvement in her trip to psych. The fact that you came forward of your own free will then can only help you now, let's continue with what's been happening since then."

The voice had made its way closer, more clear as Caputo spoke. She didn't miss the way he kept his voice even and calm, almost soothing as he tried to convince her that he was here to help. She couldn't help the tiny spark of hope that flared to life inside her, maybe they could. At the very least Figeuroa would need to make sure that word didn't get out that one of their officers intentionaly walked away from the situation. The prison was already taking too much heat from all the recent press attention that Larry has been causing. She nodded her understanding and tried to clear her throat, the everpresent nurse with the water stepped up quickly to tip the cup to her lips.

"Things got better for a while after she got out of psych. She tried to convert me to christianity but I just couldn't do it. It's fundamentally not who I am. I tried to break it to her as easy as possible, but she just wouldn't hear it. She got it in her head that I had disrespected her and it got worse than before." She paused nodding to her own personal water girl and was again grateful for its soothing effects. "She left a threatening note in my cube along with a bloody dead rat. I had to have someone who knew scripture translate it for me, but it was a death threat. A day or so before the pageant she and a few of her friends cornered me in the showers and threatened me with a weapon. It was one of those ones they showed us in orientation the toothbrush with the razor blade melted into the handle. She didn't cut me then, she was just trying to scare me. She cut herself and rubbed the blood all over me." She paused then remembering the feeling of disgust that had overwhelmed her when Pennsatucky had smeared her own blood across her naked chest. Figeuroa took this opportunity to chime in though she made a point in copying Caputo's tone, keeping any hint of disbelief or accusation out of her tone.

"Do you mind if I ask why you didn't report either of these incidents to a CO or your councelor?"

"The other imates told me I had to take care of it myself, if I reported it to a CO they'd put me in SHU. I can't go back there again, Healey would never let me out." Figeuroa's eyebrows raised at the womans fearful mention of her councellor but elected to let it pass for the moment. There'd be time enough to come back around to that later, she'd just nodded to show that she understood for now. I'd had a rough couple of days perrsonnaly speaking. My fiance Larry and I have been fighting, he broke it off just before the pageant. I was really upset and I just couldn't handle it, I went outside to clear my head it felt like everything was crumbling around me. I guess she must have followed me out..." She paused then the memory she was chasing growing fuzzy. She paused for a moment resting her tired mind and the prison officials could see the fatigue etched painfully across her face.

"Take your time, there's no rush here. We know how tiring this must be for you," he paused nodding to the nurse with the water and she stepped forward towards Piper again. "don't push too hard. Let the memories come to you when they're ready. It's okay, we've got all the time you need." the blonde nodded and took another sip before settling for a moment and collecting her thoughts.

"She came up behind me, I tried to get around her get back inside to the safety of other people. That's when she pulled out the cross. She kept slashing at me with it, backing me up against the fence. That was when he walked outside, probably for a cigarette or something but I thought I was saved. I was screaming at him for help that she was trying to kill me, he turned I know he saw me. Pennsatucky she just kept jabbing at me with that cross, I don't think she even really believed he was there. He never said a word just turned around and walked back inside, he left me out there to die." Figeuroa had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, she didn't even have to ask for the name of the CO in question. That bigoted asshole was gonna cost her everything if she wasn't careful.

"The CO who stepped out for a cigarette and witnessed the attack, who was it?" She'd need the name out of Piper's mouth for the record.

"It was Healy, he's had it out for me for awhile. He's got some weird idea that if things were different I would be with him somehow. That's the reason I ended up in SHU over Thanksgiving. He saw me dancing with a fellow inmate at Taystee's going away party and he got jealous." She paused again, trying to get the sudden thoughts of Alex out of her head. She wasn't allowed to go there anymore, the nurse took this pause as a sign that she was needed and stepped forward with the water again. Piper took the water gratefully, her throat was still sore from the tube and the talking was making it worse in a hurry. "After Healy walked away I was terrified, I thought for sure that she was gonna kill me. That was when I pulled out my screwdriver, but I didn't get a chance to use it. She slashed my wrist and I dropped it right away. She just kept spouting all this crap about Jesus and how I was a demon. Then she said something that got to me, she said I wasn't worthy of being loved. I don't know what happened I just snapped, after everything... I swear I didn't mean to hurt her like that, I just couldn't stop." She trailed off into a fit of tears that left her body wracked with tears.

"Alright, I think that will be enough for today. This has clearly been quite an ordeal, just focus on resting for now. Your body needs to heal. We'll be back again tomorrow when your rested and go over any details we may have missed. These doctors and nurses are here to take care of you, you can trust them." They gathered up their things and headed out the door leaving the young nurse alone with Piper, and suddenly feeling more than a little out of their depth. She'd heard about the other woman they had brought in. It was hard to think of this frail broken little woman weeping before her even being capable of that kind of damage.


	10. Chapter 10

Empty Spaces Chapter 10

Set from Alex's POV in the prison.

It had been nearly a full week since Alex had seen Piper just before the christmas pageant and she was coming dangerously close to losing her shit. She'd spent days practically stalking CO Fischer around the prison, but on the rare occasion that they did manage to speak discreetly she had been less than satisfied with the meager crumbs of information that the guard had been able to let slip. She'd wanted the woman to pass a message along to Piper but she just didn't have acess to the inmate while she was still in the hospital. It was obvious that the woman felt for the inmates she kept watch over, but this was a big stink and she just couldn't afford to take too many chances. The brunette understood that on an intellectual level, after all the last thing the inmates needed was to replace Fischer with another Mendez. So she was trying as hard as she possibly could to keep it all together but it was a struggle that grew increasingly difficult with each passing minute that ticked on by.

She'd never felt this powerless in her entire life. Back when she was young and the mean girls had picked on her clothes and laughed at her, her mother had been there to teach her to stand tall and tell the world to go to hell. That ability had gotten her through so many crazy situations over the years, but she found it failing her now. A cocky attitude wasn't gonna change the fact that the love of her life had killed somebody. Alex had done a lot of shady things in her time working for the cartel. There had even been one or two incidents over the years where someone had died in the course of doing her bidding and her culpability had been somewhat questionable, but she'd never actually killed anybody, that had always been the line she hadn't dared to cross. She couldn't even begin to imagine all that this would mean for Piper. Something like this could get an inmate up to twenty years at a max facility. Alex just hoped she'd been smart enough and with it enough to ask for her lawyer. The longer she thought about it the worse it all seamed to look for Piper.

The mental and emotional side of her lover's turmoil, that she couldn't even begin to imagine. She didn't know the details but she knew that Pennsatucky was dead, most of the prison had been dumbfounded by that revelation. She'd always known that temper of hers was gonna get her in trouble someday, but even the brunette hadn't seen something like this coming. She'd been trying for days to imagine how those soft warm loving arms that used to hang about her waist with such ease, or how the tender nimble fingers that had brought her so much pleasure were even capable of snuffing out a life. No matter how hard she tried she just couldn't wrap her head around any of this, couldn't stop the guilt that was eating away at her inside. She could've stopped all of this before things had gotten out of hand if she hadn't been so petty. It had been a childish game freezing Piper out, that she just couldn't forgive herself for.

Nicky had been forced to witness this emotional roller coaster for days, she wanted to help she just didn't know how. She sat with her a lot just trying to be there for the other woman as much as she could, but she was at a loss. Alex needed information but none was forth coming from the guards, not even CO Fischer. After the announcement about Doggett they'd closed ranks refusing to give any other clues as to what had happened, or just what kind of condition the missing blonde might be in. Nicky had no allusions about the brunettes feelings for her ex, she knew that what the two had was the real deal. Had seen it every time she'd caught them gazing at each other, all those unspoken conversations. She knew that the worst of what was eating her up inside, knowing that she'd sent her love away in her time of need. Nicky couldn't fight the accompanying guilt at the role that she had played that day, the smug smirk that had graced her own lips. For now all she could do was sit down beside her friend and help to try and chase one or two of the demons away. She sat down on the brunettes bunk beside her annd put a comforting hand on her knee, hoping it would help but knowing that it wouldn't.


	11. Chapter 11

Empty Spaces Chapter 11

Piper's POV in the hospital

While they still weren't speaking to her, Piper had noticed a change in the medical staff going about their business around her. There was a change in the atmosphere she couldn't quite put her finger on, she guessed her story had made the rounds courtesy of the nurse who'd been responsible for keeping her hydrated during the interview with the Caputo and Figeuroa. She didn't find herself minding too much, had even welcomed the small moments of eye contact she would occasionaly receive when they spoke to her now. She couldn't say for sure but the battered blonde that their fear had abated some.

She was pulled from her musings as the two prison officials she'd been expecting appeared at the door. Figeuroa looked as stunning as ever, while the older man beside her just looked tired. It was easy to tell he had definitely been put through the wringer this past week. They sat down on two stools an orderly had brought in for them, and Caputo sifted briefly through a folder before redirecting his focus up to Piper's face and not the chains still keeping her restrained to the hospital bed before them. She understood why they were still there even with her injuries. After all she was a dangerous felon and the hospital had to protect their staff.

"We got pretty much all the information that we needed from you yesterday, you may have to give another statement to the District Attorney later on when you've had a bit more time to heal but that will be a formality. We here today to tell you about the findings of our own internal investigation. We've reviewed the evidence found at the scene, all possible video surveillence, the doctor's findings on your injuries as well as those of Miss Doggett. We've found that the statement you gave us corresponds to all of the evidence available." He paused allowing the information to sink in.

"Now under normal circumstances there would be some very serious repercussions to be discussed. Even without taking into consideration the excessive damage done to Miss Doggett the night of the pageant, you know that being caught with a deadly weapon is a guaranteed five years added to your sentance. Even with the extenuating circumstances we cannot inmates with weapons which I'm sure you understand better than anyone. However it was Correctional Officer Healy's gross negligence that allowed this situation to evolve the way it did. He mishandled several threats of violence abused his position of authority as a corrections officer and willfully negected his duties with terrible results. Corrections officer Healy's position has been terminated with all benefits forfeit and he is facing criminal charges. While we can't ignore the fact that you had a weapon, any additional time being added to your sentence will be nominal comparatively speaking. The biggest hit will actually be that you will not be eligible for early release due to good behavior. As you knowingly concealed a weapon on your person." Caputo paused again referring to his folder and allowing Piper a moment to process her unbelievable good luck if everything he was trying to tell her meant what she thought it did.

"Now the doctor says your wounds are healing well and that they should be able to transfer you to the prison infirmary within the next week, though it will be a while until you can rejoin the general population due to the damage to your hands. There are simply too many logistical issues with an inmate who can't use either hand. In the infirmary there will be someone on hand to assist you in your day to day needs until you've healed enough to start using them again. I know we've put a lot of information out there today so I want to ask if you if you understood everything we've told you?" He paused waiting patiently eyes locked with Piper's wanting to know that she did in fact comprehend the situation as he had layed it out before her.

She paused taking a moment to consider everything that he'd said over the course of today's conversation. They'd actually been able to back up everything she'd said, and healy was as good as busted. She couldn't help hoping that the security cameras had gotten a nice shot of that smug son of a bitch walking away. Sure it was bad for her kharma but she relished in the idea of Healy being on the other side of the bars for a change. She forced herself past that happy little thought to process everything else he had covered. They couldn't ignore the weapon but she was gonna get off light, and she didn't have to go to max. Truth be told it was better than she'd hoped for, but there was just one little niggling thought that was just starting to creep up in the back of her mind.

She was actually a little surprised it hadn't caught up with her sooner. Healy being gone was like a gift, it couldn't have been any prettier if they'd wrapped a bow around it. Sooner or later though Doggett and her bible thumping flunkies would be back, and she was in no shape to defend herself again. She realized Caputo was still watching and waiting for her response, had in fact been watching her expressions as she went through that rather exhausting train of thought. She focused in on him and gave a concise nod, leaving no doubt that she understood.

"Now with all that we've told you it seams as though you still have a few concerns. What are your concerns?" His speach was still slow, measured and even. She knew she was on some heavy duty painkillers, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she was five years old again and her mother was trying to explain something complicated to her. She nodded again before trying her voice for the first time since their last visit. She lifted both hands vaguely causing the chains hanging from the cuffs to clink against the metal bedrail.

"I can't protect myself, what do I do when they come back for me. They'll find a way, even in the infirmary. What do I..." She trailed off the fear gripping her chest tight. She closed her eyes trying to focus on forcing the feeling back down again, completely missing the shocked looked the two prison officials shared as she did so. It was Figeuroa who responded this time, though she couldn't hide the hint of surprise that crept up as she did.

"First and foremost I want to be clear that there will be some very real changes at Litchfield, violent incident such as this will not be tolerated in the future. Several corrections officers and staff are being replaced due to the rising number of troubling incidents lately. It is being made clear to staff and inmates alike that any reprisals or future instances of violence will be handled swiftly and severely. As for Miss Doggett specifically she is no longer an issue. I'm afraid her injuries were too severe, the doctors here were unable to do anything for her." She stopped there unsure of how to finish, somehow they'd both just assumed she'd known. Caputo just looked back at her unsure himself of what to say.

"So I... killed her?" the words tasted horrible in her mouth, she didn't know how to believe them. Not her, she couldn't be a killer. They were the kind of depraved people you saw on the nightly news. Dirty men with stubbly faces and ugly snears, they were killers. She was a nice blonde lady, she'd gone to Smith and Smith girls didn't kill people. She couldn't even register the darkness creeping up around her as the panic reared up inside, seizing tightly to her chest and squeezing for all it was worth. Caputo and Figeuroa were left to stand idly by while the monitors around them exploded into a frenzy of noise and activity while the woman in front of them came completely undone.


	12. Chapter 12

Empty Spaces Chapter 12

Nicky's POV at the Prison

Thanks for all the reviews, should have another nice little rush over the next couple of days. Hope this will help hold you over til my weekend starts.

It had been exhausting, the waiting that she had started to fear was never going to end. Nicky had been dutifully sitting a vigil with her new friend for nearly two weeks now. They were just coming back to Alex's bunk from yet another breakfast that the brunette settling down next to her had failed to eat. The worry was really starting to show on the other womans form. She'd lost at least ten pounds since she'd last seen the object of her unquestionable focus. Sadly anything less than the curves she'd come to know as Alex just looked sickly on her long frame. She'd hardly spoken in the last week, lost inside the dark confines of her own mind. She'd spent most of the first week attempting to pull off a series of half baked attempts to make some kind of contact with Piper to let her know that she was here for her despite the fight that had been hanging over the brunettes head since she'd found out that something had happened to her former love. All she'd managed to glean from her efforts was that Piper had taken some kind of negative turn several days ago that the guards simply refused to account for.

That being said everything was far from being quiet at the prison. Several of the corrections officers had been rather abruptly replaced. There'd been no preamble to the changes that had taken place that the inmates had been witness to, and no explanations forthcoming in the aftermath of the events. One day the usual assholes were there making the inmates lives miserable and the next they had been replaced by fresh faced trainees who were more like Bennet and Fischer. Both Mendez and Healy had been ousted in whatever had gone down, but they were just the tip of the iceberg. The prison officials had definitely drained the pool of available applicants for the area. So far most of them didn't seam to be all that bad, maybe a little unsure of themselves just yet but that would pass soon enough. Definitely nothing like the former COs they were replacing, it wasn't lost on the inmates that the missing guards had been the ones who seamed to take the most pleasure in dehumanizing and abusing their helpless captives.

Nicky was happy though she'd popped in to the kitchen during breakfast to sneak a discreet hug from Morelli, while the physical side of their relationship had yet to be rekindled she had been pleased to see Morelli was more than willing to be her rock as she tried to stay strong for Alex. While there she'd managed to pick up a new piece of information that hadn't hit the prison rumor mill yet. She'd been waiting till they were alone since she knew this might finally get her weary friend talking again. It was downright painful watching someone she knew to be so vibrant start to fade away like a puff of smoke. She threw out a small prayer that the news would help to lift her out of that darkness that Nicky could see was drowning her. She lightly touched the brunettes thigh wanting to get her attention before leaning in to speak quietly so that only she could hear.

"Hey, I talked to Morelli at breakfast. She transportation officer who gives her her pick up orders gave her the run down for this afternoons schedule. There are three incoming transfers, but she's only responsible for picking up two of them. She said that's only happened a couple of times since she's been doing the driving and it was always a transfer from the prison ward of the local hospital. It's because they have to bring them all the way in in the ambulance and right up to the infirmary. I can't say that you'll be able to see her but she's coming back today." She paused watching the gears in Alex's head grind as she processed this, a slow nod her only outward reply for several long minutes. She was relieved when the furrow in the brunettes brow that had become semi permanent over the past week finally started to relax as she watched. It was a long way from the smile she had secretly been hoping for, but she understood that it was at least a start.

Piper was a long way from being out of the woods just yet. Between the fact that Doggett had died and the fact that she'd had a weapon, she could be staring down some very hard time. All of her pending legal issues aside there had also been some serious questions floating around about what kind of condition she might be returning in. While the fact that the eventual altercation between the two women had been inevitable was not in question, no one had anticipated that level of escalation. Prison was a fishbowl and everybody knew everybody else's business,but that had only made it more surprising that the tiny little blonde who had always seamed so meek and frightened had actually killed somebody. Boo had let slip about her secret santa present to Piper a few days after the pageant. No one was really sure if they wanted to be mad or grateful so it had more or less been left there hanging there around them. Though no one had said it out loud it had been understood that they protected their own and that little tid bit hadn't made it to the rumor mill.

There was no telling what kind of pysical or emotional state she might be in. All there was to do was keep waiting and hoping that they might be able to help somehow. At least they knew that the waiting couldn't last forever, hours at the most really. Nicky was caught off guard when the girl beside her stood up suddenly moving about the cube and gathering her shower supplies. She felt a small smile tug at the corner of her mouth at the abruptness of her motion. 'Looks like Alex is done waiting, time to get ready for her girl.'


	13. Chapter 13

Empty Spaces Chapter 13

This one is Alex's POV after her conversation with Nicky. I've got the night off so we'll see how far we can get, next up it's Piper's turn. Thanks for all the reviews I appreciate them all.

It took several long minutes for everything that Nicky had said to take form in her mind. After nearly two weeks of non stop worry her inward monologue had finally turned into one steeply descending spiraling staircase with no end in sight. As deep and as dark as things had become inside of her head she could hardly find her way through to seeing the light in anything anymore. She clutched to it now with both hands squeezing for all she was worth. Alex savored in the rush of relief that flowed through her with the knowledge that Piper would be returning today, it wasn't quite as good as knowing that she was okay but it would have to do for now. It wasn't anything close to what she wanted, to hold her lover tight as she could and never let her go. Unfortunately the brunette had long ago learned that what she wanted just didn't matter in here.

She was grateful in a bizarre sort of way, she shouldn't want Piper back in prison with her but she just couldn't help it. She wanted the blonde close, so she could really see her and know that she was really okay. To look deep into those endless blue eyes and see the love she missed so much reflected back at her. So that she could take care of her and protect her like she should have in the first place. She'd decided some time over the past week, she wasn't exacttly sure when, she was done with all that petty bullshit that had gotten them here in the first place. No more games or drama, she was gonna be straight with Piper and lay it all out there. If Piper wanted Larry then she would figure out a way to deal with that on her own, but she wasn't gonna let it ruin one of the most meaningful relationships she'd managed to form in her screwed up life.

Sadly though the moment was short lived, if Piper was indeed coming home to her then she needed to start getting ready. She had no idea just what the blonde would need from her, but whatever it was the brunette was going to be sure she got it. She rose from the hard metal bunk abruptly leaving Nicky watching curiously in her wake, striding purposefully around the cube and gathering up her shower items. Moments later she was on her way to the showers hoping the lines wouldn't be too long in the post breakfast rush. The blonde probably wouldn't be here for hours yet and when she did arrive Alex would undoubtedly be elbow deep in dirty sheets, but there were still several things that needed to be attended to before she had to report to the laundry.

There had been a line at the shower but she'd only had to wait twenty or thirty minutes, and once inside had found herself clean in record time. While her haste had been the main reason for that the cold water splashing against her naked skin had helped to move her right along at a brisk pace. Several minutes later she was dressed, though not entirely dry, and on her way back to her cube. She needed to drop off her shower things and find Nicky first. She wasn't gonna have time to talk to everyone herself, and she wanted all the girls keeping an eye out for her today. As it was it was gonna take some doing just getting into the infirmary to see her as there was severely limited visitation options in there. She might be able to bring them up some clean linens but that wasn't an everyday thing, and she wasn't even sure if she'd be able to get in far enough to see her. The brunette had never done that delivery herself, preferring instead the runs to the kitchen where she might at least get to chat with friends.

Her things were returned to their proper homes in short order, but Nicky had seamingly disappeared. Alex had just assumed her new friend would be waiting for her somewhere close by as she had been all week, hovering protectively over her everywhere she went. A quick scan of the suburbs showed that Morelli was missing as well but Boo was over by her bunk trying to teach Little Boo how to roll over. She was hoping to find more of their little tribe gathered together in the dorm but it was getting late enough for everyone to at least be on their way to their respactive jobs. She stopped at the entrance to Boo's bunk getting her attention and preteding to ignore the shock on the other womans face over Alex actually initiating a conversation for a change. Alex didn't even realize that she hadn't spoken to Boo since finding out about the screwdriver but to the other woman the silence had been palpable.

"Piper's getting out of the hospital today." The tall woman spoke softly not wanting the wrong ears to overhear. "I need someone to keep a watch for the ambulance and come let me know when she arrives. Do you think you can handle that for me, spread the word to the others?" She looked hard into the eyes of the shorter woman gazing up at her not even trying to hide how important this was to her.

"I'm on it, Little Boo and I never have any trouble coming and going from the yard. We'll come and get you personally when the ambulance comes. I'll tell the others too, they'll wanna know." She paused for a moment the ghost of a smile flashing through her eyes but not quite reaching her lips. "That skinny little bitch really gets to ya, you know?" To that Alex could only nod, yeah she knew just how the blonde could get to you.


	14. Chapter 14

Empty Spaces Chapter 14

Piper's POV leaving the hospital.

Thanks for all the great feedback I really apprecitate it.

Piper waasn't really sure how long it had been since her meeting with Figeuroa and Caputo. When she'd awoken next she was alone for the first time she could remember since they'd first brought her here. It felt as though it were the middle of the night but it was impossible to say for sure without any windows. The silence was broken periodicaly by the beeping of the monitors around her but the usual shuffle of hospital staff was absent from her small room. Her body ached as though she'd just finished a marathon, and there was a pounding in her head that made her whimper softly into the empty room.

Memories of her meeting with the prison officials came back easily. Not the good ones where Healy got his due and she got off easy, the ones where she was a killer. The ones where blood flowed and bones cracked while she beat someone to death with her bare hands. She didn't understand how it could possibly be real. It might be one thing if it had been some kind accident, even some kind of a lucky shot with the screwdriver that just managed to save her ass. This though, how could beating someone to death possibly be an accident.

The doctors and nurses came back to find her wracked with tears and nearing hysterics. They gave her a shot of something and she drifted back off to that nowhere place she was coming to know so well. She hadn't woken up alone since, she was sure she had scared them somehow but just couldn't find the energy to care. It might have had something to do with the steady stream of medicines flowing into her arm through a tube, but she doubted it. This is just what it was to have nothing and nobody.

There was no going back to that happy little safe existence she'd tried to force with Larry, it was good he had ended things when he did. No room for murderers at the yuppie cocktail party. She couldn't imagine what crazy story her mother would have to come up with to erase their humiliation of a daughter from their lives. Maybe some exotic disease from Africa. She could see Polly trying to stick by her but it just wouldn't be fair to let her. She had a family that she needed to be focusing on and Piper's personal disasters only seamed to be getting more dangerous as she got older. There was no way she'd ever be able to hold Finn, not now that she knew what those hands were capable of.

She couldn't run away and embace her dark side with Alex either. The brunette had made her point perfectly clear, that door was closed to her now and always. She'd played with the woman's heart too many times already. It was just too hard free falling through life with someone you couldn't trust to catch you. She hadn't been strong enough to stand up for what she really wanted while there was still a chance, and now it was way too late. She'd moved on to Nicky and Piper couldn't blame her. She might not set her ex on fire the way the blonde always had, but she wouldn't play with her heart either.

She always thought that rock bottom was reserved for junkies and addicts, but in a way she supposed that almost fit, She was an emotional user. She'd lure them in boys and girls alike, with her pretty blonde hair and her wide blue eyes. They were her fix. She'd weave them into her web of never ending drama and suck out everything good inside. Leave them broken and useless for someone else to try and fix.

The doctors were sending her back today and she wasn't quite sure how to deal with that. Seeing the faces of Tiffany's friends, the place in the snow where she'd snuffed her out. She was pretty sure killing somebody made her enough of a bad ass that she didn't have to worry anybody trying anything. She was pretty sure that should fall on the good side of the spectrum, but it was hard to get excited about much of anything these days.

She was pulled from her thoughts as the doctor came in again, they were disconnecting her from the various machines and tubes, That meant it was time, she felt the fear swirling up inside her again. She wasn't ready to go back and face what she'd done, what she was still capable of. This time though they'd seamed to anticipate her reaction and another needle full of clear liquid was floating her away into darkness.


	15. Chapter 15

Empty Spaces Chapter 15

This is a short one from Fischer's POV. Should have another longer one up tonight so be patient.

The prison game of telehone tag being what it was, it didn't take long before a dozen different girls were waiting anxiously in the yard for today's arrivals. Fischer glanced around the yard taking stock of who had come out to keep watch for Chapman. Boo and Little Boo were playing near the infirmary, while Taystee and Poussey lingered further up toward the gate. They'd be the first to give the heads up when the ambulance finally did show up. There was a nervous energy lingering in the air, a sense of excitement that they weren't quite willing to give in to. There were still too many unknowns in the equation. If the blonde woman was alright, would they even be able to see her of if she'd be able to stay at the Litch at all. Very little information had been forthcoming and the prisoners had been kept collectively in the dark on the status of their friends well being.

The activity in the yard looked about the same as it usually would to an outsiders, but the COs could feel the difference like it was being forced somehow. Fischer was doing her usual time watching the track while Watson did laps and a few of the golden girls shared a leisurely stroll. She noticed though that the unusually fast runner would slow her pace a bit when she rounded the curve that allowed her a view of the gate that allowed access to the prison. The CO felt for the women in her care, she liked Chapman and she could tell that so very many of the other inmates seamed to feel the absence of her presence so poignantly.

She ached to be able to set them at peace, tell them that their friend was okay and that everything would be alright. Unfortunately she just wasn't able do that for them. It wasn't about her job or prison politics like most of them probably suspected, sadly it was knowledge that she didn't have any good news to give them beyond the fact that the blonde still lived. Her injuries hadn't been a secret to any of the corrections officers and while the damage to her hands had been severe the trauma of the event would be the hardest part to heal. The story that Caputo had told her after his last visit to the blonde had just about broken her heart. He'd clearly still been shaken hours later telling her about how the tiny little woman had come completely undone when she'd learned the truth about Doggett's demise.

It was the quiet she realized suddenly that was making everything around her seam so foriegn. Usually there would be a cacophany of voices echoing across the yard. Sometimes angry, sometimes boisterous but always loud. Everyone seamed to be speaking in nervous hushed little whispers today. Despite their attempts to keep up the appearance of normality there was a discreet lack of activity. There was a slight rustle of voices much like a flock of seagulls taking flight when Morello drove up in the van with todays new arrivals, but even that was muffled and stilled quickly.

Usually the new inmates would be subjected to all kinds of stare down and verbal assaults to wake them up to their new surroundings. Todays new arrivals came and went without any of that, no one cared about scaring the fresh meat today. They all just continued to stand their watch, knowing now that the next time the gate slid open their friend would be coming home to them. Fischer returned her attention to the track before her, Jenae's endless endurance keeping her rounding the track over and over while the golden girls began to shuffle on back towards the yard, but not the prison because they were keeping watch too.


	16. Chapter 16

Empty Spaces Chapter 16

Piper's finally back at Litchfield, though all is not as well as they'd all been hoping for.

Thanks for all your reviews, I'm gonna try to get one more up for ya tonight, we'll see how it goes.

It was indeed Taystee and Poussey who first saw the ambulance pull up just as Fischer predicted, even before the others loitering about in small clusters here and there were pulled out of hushed debates by the movement of the gate. Dozens of eyes followed the slow journey from the gate to the infirmary, their bodies slowly rising into motion wanting to get close enough to get a look at their friend before she disappeared into the infirmary. Being drawn like moths to her flame as so many had been over the years. The hulking red ambulance slowed to a stop and two paramedics got out and walked around to the back of the vehicle to open the double doors, trying not to notice the stares of the criminals surrounding them. One of them climbed into the back and soon a stretcher was being slid out of the dark opening.

None of the prisoners was prepared for the sight before them, the skinny little blonde they'd all come to call friend was nowhere to be seen. The figure lying on the stretcher before them seamed to have shrunk into a barely there wisp of a person. Her arms were cuffed to the stretcher but her arms had become so tiny and frail that the only thing keeping them from slipping off were the casts that ended mid forearm. The woman's eyes were open but stared blankly up into the sky completely vacant. Not seeing the prison around her or the crowd of inmates who'd come out in the hopes of welcoming her back.

No one said a word, no one knew how to process this. Sure they'd known she was coming back some kind of broken, but they'd still expected it to be her. Taystee and Poussey had been waiting all morning in the hopes of telling her they'd known all along just how badass she was and way to go for beatin that hillbilly down. Now the pair just stared in stunned silence. There was no sign of Piper Chapman on the stretcher before them just a beaten and broken woman who vaguely resembled the nice blonde lady they'd come to call their friend.

Boo didn't know what to do, she'd told Alex she'd come and let her know when Piper was back, but she couldn't tell her this. The tall brunette could be more than a little intimidating and weren't those international drug cartel types known for shooting the messenger. She shook that thought quickly out of her head, not wanting to dwell on those possibilities. Instead focusing on coming up with a plan B. She knew she couldn't just let the information filter back to her naturally. No for something like this, if it was Boo, she'd want a friend to break the news.

With that thought in mind she took off quickly in the direction of the electrical hut knowing that was where she was most likely to find the brunettes best friend just now. Aside from the blonde in question, Nicky was Alex's closest friend inside. Boo was grateful to catch her just as she was heading away from the building, she was just leaving with a tool belt strapped around her waist and a work order in hand. Boo quickly walked up to her and got her attention, Nicky could tell from one glance that all was not well, and she didn't beat around the bush.

"What's wrong?"

"I told Alex I'd go down to the laundry and let her know when Piper got back from the hospital. I waited around for a minute, saw her when they pulled her out of the ambulance. I can't, I just can't be the one to tell her. It has to be you, you're her friend she won't hurt you." Nicky raised a hand to silence her, she'd known it was foolishly optimistic to just expect Piper to just show back up and stroll through the doors like she'd been on vacation, but Boo was talking about the woman like she was dead.

"How bad?" Boo went on to explain the scene out in front of the infirmary. Her tiny skeletal frame, the empty eyes. Nicki didn't was to believe any of it herself, but as the clusters of people began to pass by headed back inside, she could tell by their pained expressions that Boo probably wasn't that far off. More imortantly she was right, this was something that Alex should hear from a friend and not the rumor mill. It was with that thought that she headed off in search of the laundry, her work assignment already forgotten though still clutched in her hand.

I feel like I should apologise for how dark this is getting but I promise it won't last too long. Thanks for reading, I'll try and get the next between Nicky and Alex in the laundry room up today.


	17. Chapter 17

Empty Spaces Chapter 17

This one picks up with Alex and Nicky in the laundry room.

There was a palpable silence that could be sensed as Nicky approached the prison laundry. The large machines could be heard rumbling through their chores of washing and drying, but the ceaseless chatter that seemed to follow you everywhere in prison was absent down here as well. When she entered the room she wasn't surprised to find the tall brunette staring down several of Pennsatucky's bible thumping followers, though she was pleased to see that Leanne was missing. She cleared her throat at the door garnering everyone's attention, a look of confusion filtering over her friends face she turned her focus to the others littering the laundry.

"Why don't you ladies go for a little stroll, have a cigarette, grab a coffee?" While her words were friendly her tone made it clear that this was not a request. Nicky ignored the glares directed her way as the other women slowly filtered out of the room. Alex for her part stood patiently waiting for the room to clear out that look of confusion still crossing her face. After a moment they were alone but Nicky hesitated, having a quick peek down the hall to check for stragglers.

"So what's up?" the brunette asked hesitantly, she could feel the distress coming off of the woman in waves.

"Boo came to find me." She started simply, not wanting to rush into things and blurt it out like the insensitive ass she was used to being.

"Boo was supposed to come find me." was her friends only reply and she couldn't help wanting to chuckle at the tone in her friends voice but knew it wasn't the time.

"Yeah she said that. I think she was a little afraid to come see you herself, little afraid you might shoot the messenger or somethin' along those lines." She paused, trying to read her friends expression but came up blank. "More importantly, she thought you could use a friend right now."

"Piper's back?" Nicky wasn't surprised that with all she'd said that was the only implication of what she'd said that her friend had even seemed to hear. Nicky nodded before proceading.

"The ambulance came just like Morello said it would, and two paramedics took her into the infirmary. Now I wasn't there myself, I didn't see her but several of the others did." She paused again but Alex just stood there staring, waiting. "She was hurt pretty bad Alex, there's no other way to say that I'm sorry." She stopped now, waiting for an acknowledgement of what she'd just told her.

"How bad?" Nicky couldn't help but notice the way her usually wellspoken friend was struggling with those two brief words.

"She's weak, they said she lost a lot of weight." the brunettes eyebrow quirked at that. "Her hands were damaged and are both in casts..." she drifted off not wanting to continue. If she could stop there things would be bad enough but... her thoughts showed on her face and Alex could tell she was holding back.

"Just tell me." the brunette was trying to be tough, but Nicky could see the cracks forming in her emotional armor. Saw the tears starting to well up in the corners of her eyes, she the slight shake to her hands.

" It might have just been something they had her on, she was still pretty messed and all..."

"Just tell me."

"She wasn't there man. They looked her in the eyes and she just wasn't there." Nicky fought hard to keep her control, Alex was gonna need her to be strong. She was almost caught off guard when the brunette tried to bolt passed her out in the hallway, but she just managed to catch her and drag her back. Placing her own body in between her friend and the door.

"What the hell are you doing? I have to go see her." Alex was angry now and she was suddenly very glad Boo had come to find her first.

"I know how you feel but you can't." She put it out there simply and when the brunette tried to protest she cut her off before she could get going. "It's not allowed, there are no inmate to inmate visits allowed in sick. I know everything inside of you is screaming at you to go to her but you just can't. If you go out there like this all pissed off in protector mode you're just gonna get yourself thrown in the SHU. You can't help anyone in there." Her hands were on Alex's shoulders now as she'd tried to get by her again. She stared hard into the brunettes eyes, letting her know that she wasn't backing down.

"How do I do nothing..." she trailed off, the walls finally breaking as tears cascade down and she collapses into Nicky's arms. "I have to..." but the thought got no further as sobs wracked her body and Nicky just held on the best she could rubbing her back and trying to whisper soothing comforts.


	18. Chapter 18

Empty Spaces Chapter 18

Piper's POV in the infirmary.

Sorry this update took so long, spent a day binge watching orange to get caught up with the new season and all I can say to that is... Damn! It's gonna take me a few days to process all of that. Meanwhile and gonna try to step up the updates cuz all this dasrkness is bringin' me down and I need to get to the happy.

It had probably been a week since Piper had been returned beaten and broken to the Litchfield infirmary, but she just couldn't find the energy to care anymore. There were fewer people buzzing around her in here, longer stints of alone time when her mind would wander off to dark and scary places. There was a doctor and several nurses who were here checking up on her from time to time. They gave her a button to call them when she needed water or the bathroom but she didn't use it. She'd just lay there blankly staring at the ceiling until they came around to prod at her again in a painfully cruel attempt to keep her alive. She couldn't for the life of her understand why they kept wasting their time with it.

Inside her mind, all she could see was the never ending movie of all the people she had hurt in her life. Everyone she'd ever cared about was in there, her parents, her friends, her lovers. She just couldn't seem to stop hurting people. Even putting her into prison hadn't helped, she'd actually managed to kill somebody in here. No it wasn't enough just to lock her away with the simple small offenders, she wasn't sure max was enough. The only way for the violence to stop was to make it stop for good. If they weren't gonna do it for her, she'd just have to wait and watch. There were more than enough opportunities to get yourself permanently messed up in here.

As Piper's mind turned over these destructive little thoughts she didn't hear the noise at the entrance to the infirmary where another inmate was being escorted in by a corrections officer. Din't hear the muffled whimpers or the muttered explanation from the fight that she'd picked a fight and would be headed down to SHU once she was all patched up. The noise as they helped the inmate to the bed next to hers should have been audible, but it just didn't register. She ignored it the same as she tried to ignore the quetions from the doctors when they poked her in all of the places that hurt.

She was still staring up at the ceiling when the curtain blocking her from sight was pulled quietly aside as a large figure stepped passed and slowly moved towards her. Her mind vaguely acknowledged the possible presence of one of these dark possibilities she'd just been mulling over, and she couldn't help the way her eyes closed or the ghost of a smile creased around the edges of her lips as she felt that sisnister touch descending. She waited patiently, grateful for an end to the suffering she'd inflicted on everyone around her. She waited, but the touch didn't come.

She opened her eyes to see the tall dark form of her ex leaning painfully over her.

This wasn't what she was waiting for. She was apalled to see the tall brunette bleeding profusely from her nose and lips, to see even more pain in those deep soulful eyes and known she'd done it again. Even now lying in this bed unable to move or even touch anything or anybody, she was still hurting people. It was this thought that brought the tears cascading down her cheaks while Alex stood frozen above her. Unable to move with her hand hovering hovering just an inch or so the from the skin she'd been dying to touch for so long now.

She'd been afraid to touch the woman lying immobile oon the bed before her, afraid she'd scare her or startle her somehow. So she'd hesitated, her hand so close she could feel the warmth she'd been crazing, and when the blonde had opened her eyes she'd somehow been swallowed whole. She'd looked into those eyes, it felt like at least a million times over the years. She'd seen love and passion and seething anger reflected out of those depths back at her. She'd seen joy, heartbreak and a million wonderful futures spent in each others arms. Looking into those eyes now, all she could see were the empty spaces that her lovers soul used inhabit.

She saw endless waves of pain and anger crashing down on the woman she loved destroying her inside. She saw the tears welling up, could feel the inconsolable misery trying to claw its way out of her body. She'd heard plenty from the others, and everyone had said that the blonde half of her heart was in a bad way, but she find herself realizing the situation was worse than she'd even realized was possible. The tiny woman laying before her was completely broken and Alex couldn't fight the fear that she might not be strong enough to bring her back fom this place. The tall brunette couldn't fight back the tears running down her own face making tracks through the blood that was already drying there.

She leaned down even further trying to wrap her arms around Piper but struggled with the pain lacing through her side. She'd actually had to pay off Big Boo to break her nose and crack a couple ribs so she could get into the infirmary for a couple of days, she'd asked Nicky first but had met a flat out refusal. It was worth it though, after the sleepless weeks she'd been left to lay awake, wondering how she was. Trying to come up with plans to get to the blonde back in her arms so she could save her somehow. She didn't know how long it would take or how much it would cost her in the long run, but she made up her mind then and there to never give up on the blonde.

Piper just kept on weeping for the woman she'd never be able to stop loving, stop hurting. Her love was poison, and she was toxic. She knew that the only way to save Alex would be to send her away or chase her off, but she was starting to think it wasn't really possible. After all she'd done to the woman over the years, she just kept coming back. Was still here crying with her in this hospital bed and Piper just didn't have the strength. She didn't have enough strength to lift her weak and battered arms to hold Alex back, how would she ever have the strength to push her away.


	19. Chapter 19

Empty Spaces Chapter 19

Alex's POV getting out of SHU

Sorry this update took so long, this one tried to get away from me. Next chapter will be picking right up from here though, hopefully it will be up soon.

Alex had gotten lucky, her bid to see Piper had only cost her about a week or so in the SHU near as she could tell. It was hard to judge the passing of time in those tiny little concrete boxes. With the ever present lights and the complete lack of windows the only way to tell one day from the next was the arrival of the meals she had mostly refused to eat. She'd been half tempted to scratch the passing days into the concrete wall by her bunk, but the vague fear that the action might cost her more time locked up here away from her love allowed the thought to pass. Each second spent sequestered in that hole had been absolute agony on her already frazzled mind, and the roar of angry screams that had accosted her each minute had shown her she wasn't alone in that.

There were a large number of furious female inmates screaming their frustrations in those cells still as her feet started carrying her away from SHU of their own volition. They hadn't been as lucky as Alex, though she had a strong suspicion the only reason she was out so soon was because Caputo knew his charges well enough to know that Alex would have done anything to get into that infirmary. Even pay Big Boo a couple of snickers bars to crack her ribs and give her a bloody nose. She didn't doubt he'd been told how many times she'd snuck over to Piper's bunk to try to talk to her. Aside from her own fake fight the prison official had been true to his word when he'd said that there would be zero tolerance for violent outbursts. All of the inmates who hadn't quite believed him were still locked up in their own concrete boxes. Alex knew she wouldn't be able to risk that plan again, it was just as easy to get thrown in the hole these days as it was to get a shot.

The overly harsh reaction shouldn't have been a surprise to any of the seasoned inmates though, Litchfield had been under an unusually high amount of media scrutiny as of late. None of the scared straight parents had sued which was a big relief for the prison. That didn't mean that the incidents had gone by unnoticed by any means. No the press had been keeping tabs on their sleepy little prison, and after the fight between two inmates had ended with another death the press had had themselves a field day. They'd been camped out just outside the prison gates for weeks now, and with the plethora of mourners and protesters who had shown up for them to feed on there was no end in sight. Many inmates had taken to watching the show while out in the yard, but that only led Alex's mind back to thoughts of Tiffany and Piper.

The more she thought about the two women whose lives had been so completely destroyed, the more her certainty grew that this whole mess was her own fault. It had been Alex who had kicked off the feud with Pennsatucky, threatening her in the laundry room. It had also been she who had escalated it, convincing the bible beater that she had healing powers. She could actually remember thinking Piper weak for throwing herself on Caputo's mercy and confessing to Alex's crimes, though it wasn't like that was even a first. She thought things had changed between them after Tiffany was released from psych, but it obviously hadn't lasted long. There wasn't a soul walking these halls that would dare to call the blonde weak now, even in her current physical state.

Her thoughts on the whole situation were still scattered, she still couldn't imagine how her skinny blonde ex had found the strength to do that kind of damage to anyone. She'd had to fight back an innapropriate chuckle when she'd remembered that Pennsatucky had been a pro life advocate, there hadn't been anyone around to hear her it just wasn't funny. She couldn't imagine finding anything funny, still haunted by the short amount of time she'd managed to spend in the blondes company. The devastation she'd seen written across that face, the cold dead feel of her skin when she'd tried to touch her. Just how much the blondes loss of control had cost her, only time would tell. The haunted look she'd seen behind those clear blue eyes still had her unsettled.

The biggest downside to her stay in SHU was that yet another week had passed while she'd had to cool her heels waiting for another chance to see Piper. Knowing just how bad off the blonde was, knowing she was so close and not being able to help somehow had almost been the brunettes undoing. She couldn't say how many times she'd paced the length of her dingy little cell, her thoughts swirling endlessly around the blonde in question though that wasn't exactly new. From the moment she'd met Piper the blonde had been crashing through her mind like a tornado, she was still surprised at just how much the blonde had gotten to her.

Thinking about all the time they'd spent together both before and now she found herself missing the blonde fiercely. Everything from the catch in her laugh to the way she'd fit so perfectly wrapped up in Alex's arms after a particularly long day. She had expected Piper to change after all of their time spent apart, it's just what always seemed to happen, people grow with time and experience. The brunette had been surprised to find that the blonde was still essentially the same, even in prison. If anything her ex had gone back to hiding the more interesting parts of who she was. The parts that Alex had always managed to draw out of her so effortlessly with one of her mischievous grins or lingering gaze. The brunette had always loved the way a singly finger drawn lightly up the blondes spine would completely unglue her.

This new situation was wholly different from all the trouble and shenanigans they'd gotten themselves into before. She'd looked into her lovers eyes and all those little pieces of Piper that had meant so much to her before were just plain gone from them now. Mere echoes lingered of the joy and mischief that used to reside there. Replaced instead with indelible images of horror and viloence, after images of the blood red rage she'd released that night into the ice and snow. It had taken days to get the mess that the blonde had left behind that night properly cleaned up, removing the stain it had left on her lover's soul was going to take so much more.

The first problem that was going to have to be dealt with was her inability to get to the woman she so desperately needed to see. Inmate visitation to the infirmary wasn't exactly standard procedure, but there had to be some way to manage it. Alex wasn't entirely sure how she was going to help the blonde, a small part of her wished it could be as simple as holding her in her arms like she used to, but knew that that simply wouldn't be enough this time. Whatever it took though, she knew she had to get in to see Piper, she'd gotten a good look at the broken woman lying in sick and knew she wouldn't be out anytime soon.

Her thoughts circled back around and around as her feet carried her steadily to the object of her focus. She longed to be able to take those hands in her own again, long fingers interwoven with each others. To gaze into those deep blue pools and see the love she felt reflected back in them again. There were the simple pleasures that had kept her world spinning so long ago. Even after the blonde had left her heart broken in that Paris flat all it would have taked was the touch of her hand and that look in her eye to set everything right again. She found herself now standing before the doors of the prison infirmary trying to decide on her course of action.

She supposed she could just sort of pop in see if they could look at her ribs, rewrap them or something totally legitimate like that. They were healing all right she knew that well enough, but the bruising was still looking pretty nasty just the same. The worst that could happen would be getting sent away and finding herself right back here where she'd started again. It definitely wasn't any kind of long term plan but that could wait for later, the brunette knew there would be all kinds of time later to work on the long game. Right now all that mattered was getting in to see the blonde again, it had been nearly a month since Christmas and the few minutes she'd managed to spend at the blondes side since then just hadn't been enough.

With that clear thought at the forefront of her mind she stepped up to she door and grabbed the handle, sweaty palms sliding a little as she did so. She walked toward the desk making sure to favor her injured side just for the sake of show. She muttered something to the nurse at the dessk about some lingering pain in her ribs, but her attention was already elsewhere. As always she'd managed to pick out Piper from across the room, drawn like a moth to a flame, but as of yet still unable to reach her. The nurse stood leading her to the beds just beyond the blonde and she didn't have to fake the pained expression at seeing her lying there unchanged. Still lost behind her own eyes in a swirling sea of pain.


	20. Chapter 20

Empty Spaces Chapter 20

This one is Piper's POV in the infirmary upon Alex's review.

Thanks for the reviews I appreciate them all. Sorry I had to take a couple of days on this one, had to find my way outta the dark. Still deciding where the next chapter is gonna take us, but I've got a couple of good ideas. Should be up by Sunday if I'm lucky.

Piper was still stuck in this damn bed, had been stuck lying here in this dank little place day after day. It had already been so long she'd completely lost touch with the passage of time that seemed to stop around the borders of the sterile cot that now encompassed her universe. She was starting to wonder if she'd ever really existed outside of this convalescence. In theory at least she knew that she must have, the memories that haunted her offering proof of that truth. Though if she was being truthful with herself she had to admit to doubts about how many of those were real. Memories of when she'd been a child growing up in Connecticutt had always felt a bit contrived, but she'd always chalked it up to her waspy upbringing.

The memories of her time spent with Alex hiding away in cozy little book stores, dancing in clubs, lying cradled in the taller womans arms exhausted and sated at the end of a long day. These memories were all still tangible to her, achingly real to her increasingly fragile mind. All the same she found herself pushing those thoughts away as much as she could. Warm and fuzzy memories of love and kisses only served to remind her of just how alone she had become, she couldn't go running back to Alex anymore. She'd burnt that bridge, and spit on the ashes. She tried to push the thoughts of her favorite brunette that were trying to tear away the few tattered strips of flesh still clinging to her battered and broken heart, though she knew they'd come creeping back up to haunt her again.

She tried to summon up thoughts of her friends and family to take their place, making a note of just how easily her mind had removed Larry from that list. She tried to focus on her parent but she had a strong suspicion that her mother's visits would be diminished somewhat when she was finally allowed to resume visitation. It certainly shouldn't phase her any, her father had flat out refused to see her at all since her incarceration at Litchfield. She was half tempted to just clear her visitor's list and be done with it, she definitely wouldn't miss the squat and cough. Piper was sure though that even if everyone else stopped coming, her best friend wouldn't forgive her for cutting off that life line.

Unfortunately Polly was already another source of the guilt bubbling furiously in her stomach. The blonde knew that she was missing everything in here, but Polly always seemed to take her absence so personally. Almost as though she'd made that single poor decision a decade ago on purpose to sabotage these future bonding moments. A brief flash of anger in her gut suddenly had her pulse racing and her breaths coming shorter. She wished somewhere deep down that she could just sleep her way through the rest of the healing process, but sleep wasn't the refuge it used to be.

Alex had been haunting her dreams as well as her waking thoughts more and more. The dreams were almost always the same, the brunette was always hurt somehow and it was always her fault. The blonde would be lying here in this bed, sometimes cuffed though it didn't really matter. Even in her dreams she was still broken. The brunette would loom over her with fire in her eyes, telling her in excruciating detail just how she had hurt her over the years. How she was still hurting her now, how she used people like it was all just a silly little game for her own amusement. The blonde would usually wake from these terrors with tears streaming down her pale face, that sultry voice still echoing in her ears that she wasn't worthy of Alex's love.

In her musings the blonde hadn't felt herself drift off, but knew that she must have just the same when she caught a quick glimpse of familiar brunetter locks through the gaps in the curtains that surrounded her. She fought to hold back a whimper knowing what was to come, she wasn't ready to do this again right now. She couldn't help wonder if this was meant to be some kind of penance, being tortured by the person she loved most in this world. She wished more than anything she could just wake up but once the dream got going it didn't ever seem to end before the brunettes harsh words left her in pieces.

The blonde knew what was coming even before the nurse started back to her desk and couldn't supress the shiver creeping up her spine when she heard the curtain part granting access to her former lover. She fought hard to keep her stare locked on the ceiling above her, but when that familiar face came into view she knew she couldn't fight it. As her eye's locked with Alex's she fought to harden her resolve, she wasn't going to cry this time. This time she was gonna take whatever pain and anger the brunette brought down on her, because deep down inside she knew she desrved this. She had dealt out more than her own fair share of pain and heartache over the years, now this was her penance.

Something was wrong though, something was different this time. It was there in the eyes locked with her own. There was no denying that Alex was pained but the tide of pain and anger she'd gotten used to seeing burning in them was gone. She found herself frozen staring into those endless depths, suddenly unsure just what to make of this encounter. The blonde had been sure that she'd slipped into yet another nightmare, but now staring into the concerned eyes of the tall brunette standing beside her hospital bed she wasn't sure if she could even tell what was real anymore. Piper couldn't stop the single tear that leaked out from the corner of her eye as the confusion swirled about inside of her. She could see Alex's eye tracking its descent for a moment before ever so slowly reaching forward to brush it away with the tip of one trembling finger. The blonde felt as though she were experiencing sunshine on her face for the very first time, a noticable warmth spreading outward from the point of contact.

The tingle creeping up her spine that such a simple touch caused was a familiar comfort that only Alex had ever been able to give her. The fast running stream of thoughts that had formed her own internal prison were quickly diminishing, seeming to free her from the turmoil that had kept her nearly catatonic since Caputo had broken the news that she'd become a killer that night she lost control in the snow. She could feel that easy peace that her ex-girlfriend's presence had always brought out of her when she'd really needed it, though it was tinged with a lingering hint of fear that this somehow might not be real. Just another nightmare that her subconcious had created to torture her with, so much crueler than all the others with the surge of hope she felt beating against her chest. She swallowed dryly and her throat hurt from the effort, unused mucles straining in protest. She hadn't spoken a word since that fateful meeting with Figueroa and Caputo when she'd woken up in the hospital.

"Are you..." Piper started to speak but had to pause to clear her throat when the words faltered coming out. "Are you real?" She gazed steadfastly into Alex's eyes waiting, hoping that just this one time it would all be real. The blonde didn't want to admit it, even to herself, but she needed this to be real. She'd needed this moment to be real more than she'd ever needed anything in her life, more than oxygen she needed this to be real. If this moment wasn't somehow the truth, she didn't think she could keep doing this. No one can torture us better than ourselves, and Piper knew that with complete certainty now. Deep down inside she knew that if she were to wake up from this, crying and hysterical like so many times before, it was gonna be for the very last time.

Still waiting patiently she saw tears starting to well up in the brunettes eyes, unable to hide her honest reaction from her love. Alex had always been able to read her like a book and every thought that she'd just had had flashed across her face as clearly as a movie projected onto a screen. She felt long fingers wrap around her frail arms and pull her gently forward closer to Alex, before a hand rose up to graze lightly against her cheek. The blondes eyes closed as she savored the sensations coursing through her, she'd missed this feeling so much.

"Yeah Pipes. I'm real and I'm right here. I've got you." Her words flowing into Piper's brain broke a dam she'd been building up inside of her, the space between them suddenly flooded with her tears. Everything that had been tearing her up and eating away at her came rushing out like somebody had pulled the stopper on a bathtub. They stayed in that position for awhile, though she couldn't say for how long. She was pretty sure she'd heard the nurse come to investigate, though they weren't disturbed. Both women holding onto each other as though their lives depended on it, both wishing that Alex could crawl into that tiny litte cot with her and wrap her arms around her. Where they belong.


	21. Chapter 21

Empty Spaces Chapter 21

This one is Alex's POV in the aftermath of her reunion with Piper in the infirmary.

I'm sorry this update took so long but my whole week was one long blur of work and sleep. Today is my one day off before I have to do it again so please be patient with me over the next week. I've already got a good jump on the next chapter and at least solid ideas where the next few are gonna take us. Don't worry I'm not gonna leave ya hanging, though I am very tired so please forgive any typos that I miss. Please enjoy and don't be shy about what you think, all reviews are appreciated.

Alex was sitting at a table in the prison cafeteria though she wasn't really eating much still, her stomach a roiling ball of nervous energy. She'd barely touched her meal as her leg bounced steadily, preferring to expend her energy filling in the other women at the table on just how well Piper's injuries were healing. The mental and emotional damage she chose to simply skip right over for the time being. Every inmate who hadn't physically seen the blonde being wheeled in on her stretcher had heard multiple detailed accounts of the incident. It was all anyone had been talking about since her return, but the brunette couldn't let herself focus on that. Now that her love was back within her reach she knew she needed to be strong. Needed to believe for both of them that Piper could really get passed this.

The tall woman grew increasingly anxious, foot tapping irritably away while she tried to wait out the end of the morning meal period. The nurse who had seen to her yesterday, rewrapping her ribs and gently prodding the still tenders tissue that Big Boo's fists had intentionally marred, had asked her to return again today after breakfast. Alex was by no means an expert but she knew her own body well enough to know that that much attention wasn't strictly necessary in this stage of the healing process. That knowledge only served to make the brunette even more grateful, prison culture giving everyday acts of kindness an air of the miraculous. She'd seen the outline of the nurse's shadow hovering behind the thin curtain yesterday while Piper had cried, but the woman had turned away walking softly back to her desk leaving the two to share in their moment. The medical staff here was doing everything that they possibly could to help the frail woman on her road to recovery, but there were some things that medicine just couldn't fix.

Slowly but surely the women around her were starting to finish their meals and clear their trays, this was the signal that Alex's overly alert mind had been waiting for all morning. She sprung abruptly to her feet alarming the women surrounding her who had been none too subtly watching her since the blondes return. She paid no mind as her feet carried her swiftly towards the infirmary again for her follow up appointment. She almost failed to notice as her new best friend fell into step beside her, though she wasn't surprised. Alex hadn't thought much of making friends on the inside but she was glad that she had found Nicky. Mostly because she was exactly the kind of person that the former drug dealer would have gotten along with. Despite the fact that she probably would made fun of a gangly ten year old Alex.

"They move the laundry or..." the former addict let the question trail off with a wise ass grin.

"No, smart ass. I'm headed back to the infirmary so the nurse can have another look at my ribs before I'm cleared for work." She spoke without a glance in the other womans direction and missed the raised eyebrow that her response had received. The tall brunette was certainly moving well enough with more than a weeks worth of healing behind her.

"Alright, tell Chapman I said hi." and with a knowing grin she was off on her way to the electrical hut leaving Alex to her mission. At the moment the tall brunette was focused on her intended destination. She didn't know how long she'd be able to stretch out these little visits, but she had today and for now that was enough.

It had been physically painful having to say goodbye to her lover the previous day when the nurse came back around to see to her. Alex hadn't quite dared to kiss her with the nurse so close by and waiting, but that moment and her desire to do just that had lingered with her all through the night. As hard as it had been to force her legs to carry her away from the woman she loved, it had been harder keeping them still as thoughts of how much the blonde needed her came flashing out through broken dreams. She wasn't entirely sure if it was as painful as the day that Piper had walked out on her in Paris, but it had been way too close for the tall brunette after seeing the desperation written across the blondes face when she'd had to go. Her love had begged her to stay without saying a word and it had nearly broken Alex's heart that she couldn't do just that.

Unlfortunately this wasn't the real world, this was the Litch and in here there were rules that had to be followed. Alex hadn't been able to believe the incredible kindness of the prisons resident nurse to allow them their privacy as long as she had, but it simply couldn't last forever. Sooner or later there was always someone higher up to answer to, even for the staff who took care of the inmates. The brunette had been grateful, not just for allowing her to come back again today. More so for the raised voice that carried well across the limits of the infirmary, even though the only other soul in residence had been less than ten feet away.

Alex was pleased when the nurse from yesterday greeted her at the door, and didn't have to force the smile she returned to the middle aged woman. She almost found it hard to believe that someone so friendly and kind could exist in a prison, but the brunette was grateful this woman was the one taking care of Piper. There weren't many working here who would go out of their way to help an inmate, while this woman treated them like they were really people who truly deserved her time and assistance. It wasn't like her kindnesses were without risks, there were already a lot of new faces walking the halls serving as a daily reminder.

"I see you're looking a bit better." It wasn't a question but the brunette nodded just the same, a small grin creasing her lips. "That's good. Seems as though it's going around this morning." Alex couldn't read her expression following behind the red head, but she could hear the smile in her voice. After only a day the brunette knew the space well and she couldn't help turning and looking when she passed by the curtain surrounding her, knowing just that moment their eyes would have locked if it weren't for the fabric obscuring their gazes.

Alex did her part for the sake of discretion and obediantly sat down on the bed she was led to, so very close to Piper, and waited patiently while the nurse pulled her own curtain closed around her hiding her from view. She could hear the soft foot steps retreating back to the desk to fill out whatever forms the prison deemed necessary for her visit today. She fought the spatic teenage boy urges threatening to overcome her and calmly walked over to the curtain separating her from Piper and slipped silently through. She smiled fully seeing the blonde awaiting her so eagerly, staring wide eyed in anticipation of the brunettes inevitable arrival.

Alex froze her eyes locked with Piper's completely unable to move another step, despite how painful the hours spent waiting to touch her lover again had been. They brunette had been hopeful after yesterdays reunion and she knew the road they were walking was a long one indeed, but the life and the love shining out of those big blue eyes was more than she'd dared to hope for. The woman she'd reached out to the day before had been so lost, where now she could see the all of the adventures, all the love, all the moments they'd shared reflecting back at her again.

The tall brunette forced herself to take those last few steps closind the distance between them finally bringing the blonde back within her reach. Her fingers wrapped themselves around Piper's arm just above the cast on her left wrist. She wished that she could clasp her lovers hand in her own, fingers weaving delicately together. Sadly that would have to wait a bit longer yet, for the moment at least she settled on lifting the thin bandaged wrist and laying a gentle kiss along the back of it. She knew the blonde couldn't have felt the caress, but you wouldn't have been able to tell from the expression on her face. It was an expression she'd seen ghosted over those features many times over the years, complete and utter rapture.

"Hi." was all Alex could think of to say and she wanted to kick herself for sounding like some dumbstruck kid. Fortunately she wasn't the only one, blue eyes gazed back at her from under shy half lidded eyes.

"Hi." Piper replied in that soft girly voice that had always brought out something possessive in Alex.

"Better than yesterday?" She asked gazing deeply into those eyes getting lost in them just like she used to so long ago.

"I am." she paused briefly before continuing on. "I'm glad you came back." She didn't have to tell Alex she'd been afraid the brunette wouldn't return again, she could see it written plainly on her lover's face.

"Nowhere else in the world I'd rather be." She stated simply, she'd made her decision all those weeks ago lying awake wondering if the blonde was really okay. She wasn't gonna play any more games, she was gonna be completely upfront and honest about her feelings.

"Not even that beach in Cambodia?" blue eyes looked up at her, wide and questioning.

"Not without you by my side." she could feel those eyes pulling her in and she'd long lost the will to fight them. The space between them disappearing until their lips caressed ever so softly. The kiss was short and probably the most chaste they'd ever shared, but Alex could almost swear she could hear her own heart hum with the thrill of it.

Okay i hope you all enjoyed that and again sorry it took so long, I'm off to eat everything in my kitchen and then crash for twelve hours. Hopefully the next one won't be quite so long a wait.


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